Full Hormone Festival Lineup: Who Headlines Your Ikura?

Grab your flower crowns and sort your festival ‘fits  because it's time for the most iconic event of the month (sometimes, maybe it will be a Fyre Festival and not happen?). 

Get loose to the tunes of your own biology with this star-studded lineup:

Estrogen – The Queen of Pop

  • Hit Single: "Thickening Beats"
  • Performance: "Ovulation Spectacular"

    Estrogen knows how to light up the stage, making sure your uterine lining gets all the attention it deserves. This hormone orchestrates the growth of your ovarian follicles, preparing the stage for a potential pregnancy. When it takes the lead during your menstrual cycle, you can expect a grand ovulation spectacle that could steal the show.

Progesterone – The R&B Sensation

  • Hit Single: "Luteal Groove"
  • Performance: "Endometrial Elegance"

    Progesterone's smooth vibes keep your uterine lining chill and prevent any unplanned exits. When it steps into the limelight, it ensures your uterine lining stays lush and ready for a potential pregnancy. It's like the R&B sensation of hormones, bringing that silky smoothness to your cycle.

LH (Luteinizing Hormone) – The Ovulation Maestro

  • Hit Single: "Ovulation Swing"
  • Performance: "Mid-Cycle Jam Session"

    LH orchestrates the ovulatory magic, ensuring your egg gets the spotlight it deserves. Also partial to wearing a fedora.

FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone) – The Follicular Composer

  • Hit Single: "Follicle Overture"
  • Performance: "Follicle Formation Symphony"

    FSH conducts the creation of your future menstrual superstars. It's the composer behind the scenes, crafting the overture to your follicular symphony. When FSH takes center stage, it's all about the growth and development of those potential egg-bearing follicles.

HCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) – The Pregnancy Promoter

  • Hit Single: "Could be Baby"
  • Performance: "It’s my choice"

    HCG delivers the news of pregnancy, and it's all about promoting it, like a club promoter for your own body.

Prolactin – The Nurturing Crooner

  • Hit Single: "Milk and Harmony"
  • Performance: "Lactation"

    Prolactin serenades the nurturing phase, ensuring that the melody of lactation flows smoothly. It's the hormone that embraces the beauty of nurturing and feeding, like a gentle crooner soothing both you and your little one.

Oxytocin – The Love Song Maestro

  • Hit Single: "Love Bond Waltz"
  • Performance: "Birth and Bonding Ballet"

    Oxytocin is all about love and connection, uniting birthers and babies in a beautiful love bond. It orchestrates the magical ballet of birth and bonding, ensuring that love is in the air during life's most precious moments.

Testosterone – The Empowering Rock Star

  • Hit Single: "I CAN DO ANYTHING"
  • Performance: "Bad ass af"

    Testosterone rocks the stage, empowering you to take charge with confidence. This hormone brings the energy of a rock star to your life, reminding you that you're capable of achieving anything you set your mind to.

Relaxin – The Chill Vibe Artist

  • Hit Single: "Relax and Release"
  • Performance: "Joint and Ligament Groove"

    Relaxin keeps things cool, making sure your joints and ligaments are always in sync. Like a laid-back vibe artist, it ensures that everything flows smoothly, preventing any unnecessary tension.

Melatonin – The Nighttime Serenader

  • Hit Single: "Peace out"
  • Performance: "Do not disturb"

    Melatonin serenades you into a peaceful slumber, ensuring you're ready for the next festival day. It's the ultimate nighttime crooner, helping you find your inner calm and tranquility, so you can wake up refreshed and ready to rock the day.

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